Do it. Or I’ll hire a clown to tickle your feet while you sleep.
It’s been several days since I last posted something here. I’d like to say it was because I had finally gathered the courage to live my dream of forsaking all my worldly possessions and am now spending my days living under a bridge and passing time by throwing cuss words and trash at passing traffic.
But, sadly, I’ve just been busy with adult-type shit.
Anyway, I wanted to
command remind all of you that I maintain a Sock Puppet Newsletter and encourage you to subscribe to it. Because if you don’t…the terrorists win. And when you do subscribe, it allows me to send you filthy things directly into your email inbox.
I’ve already sent out a few editions of the Sock Puppet Newsletter and if you weren’t a subscriber, you fucking missed all of them. And you’ll NEVER see that shit EVER! I do my best to send a new one every weekend.
So subscribe to the Sock Puppet Newsletter now so that you don’t miss another one.
Some of you may be wondering why you should take time out of your life and trust a drunken maniac like myself with your email address. Fine. Here’s why I think you should…
- Sock Puppet Newsletter subscribers receive exclusive content such as hand-drawn Sock Puppet sketches (which I draw while drunk) and short Sock Puppets From Hell themed stories written by me.
- Updates on all of the projects that I’m working on.
- All of the emails smell like rotting onions. That isn’t really a selling point, but it’s important for you to know up front.
- When I inevitably have my nervous breakdown, I’ll be using the Sock Puppet Newsletter to send my cries for help.
- If I ever open a Sock Puppet store, subscribers to the email list will probably receive valuable discount codes and shit like that.
So please go ahead and subscribe to my goddamn newsletter. Please?