Not in real life, stupid. I mean like you can read about them and shit.
Hi, there. It’s been several days since my last blog post so I thought I’d take a break from drinking scotch and peeing on things and give an update on what I’ve been doing with myself. Besides drinking scotch and peeing on things.
I’ve built a “Characters” section here on the website. This is meant to serve as guide to the various personalities that comprise the Sock Puppets From Hell saga. If you aren’t yet familiar with these characters, this gives you the opportunity to learn about them without having to buy my book.
But to be clear, you still need to buy my book. Don’t think this gets you out of that obligation, motherfucker.
You’ll notice that I’ve broken down all the characters into four main categories; The Sock Puppets, Humans, Demons and The Sheep. At this point, most of my literate audience has probably left and deleted this website from their browsing history.
Anyway, I’m also in the process of adding some original sketch art (drawn by me, usually while I’m drunk and in between PEE ON EVERYTHING adventures) for each of the characters. In this way, I can also manage to offend my remaining non-literate audience, forcing them to abandon this website as fast as their BACK buttons will take them. I am alone.
And for the NONE OF YOU who are still reading this blog post, you should now direct your attention to the Characters Page and begin reading all about all of the interesting and morally offensive stars of The Sock Puppets From Hell novel.
Also, because I have ZERO DOLLARS set aside for sales and marketing purposes, please share this website and every goddamn blog post and page across all of your Facebooks and Twitters and SnapChats. Or wherever else you people hang out.
Alright. Fuck this, back to scotch and pissing on things that don’t belong to me but should.
BUY MY FUCKING BOOK, FUCKERS!