The author of Sock Puppets From Hell
Dan Cheek is a terrible human being.
He is also the fucking asshole who wrote The Sock Puppets From Hell. A first-time author, Mr. Cheek will be self-publishing the book and plans to inflict it upon humanity sometime in the Fall of 2016. He also built this website…which is also pretty awful.
Before ruining his life forever with this book, Dan Cheek served as a soldier in the United States Army and followed that up with a bunch of customer service and management jobs. He also holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from Wilkes University.
He still works one of those management jobs because a book about Sock Puppets sure as shit ain’t gonna pay the bills.
A life-long geek, Dan has spent most of the money he has ever managed to accumulate on comic books, movie tickets, books and amazing technology that is now all obsolete. He loves to spend his free time drinking scary amounts of beer and liquor and peeing on things. Never invite him to a party, he will fuck your shit up.
Dan Cheek lives in Northeast Pennsylvania with his wife and step-dog (came with the wife) in a cozy little house that is equipped with a basement bar that has been host to some of the most horrible moments in human history. It smells of hobo urine and scotch.
Here are some random facts about Mr. Cheek that you can use to impress your friends and get laid…
- Dan Cheek is an Eagle Scout. The Boy Scouts of America still aren’t sure how they let this happen.
- Despite growing up getting into rock fights and spending four years in the Army as a tanker, he has never broken a bone in his body. Other people’s bodies, yes, but never any of his own.
- When he was 14 years old, Dan took flying lessons and had the goal of earning his private pilot’s license. He was a terrible pilot and eventually his flight instructor told him to give it up. So he did.
- He has been blackout drunk on three continents and six countries.
And now that you know all about Dan Cheek, pray to whatever god that you worship that you never actually meet him. He smells funny and screams when he pees.