The author of The Sock Puppets From Hell interviews himself.
I’ve been reading lots of blog posts and articles about how to promote a book. Most of these things recommend doing an interview with a blogger, radio host, newspaper or whatever. I don’t have time for that shit.
So I’m gonna interview myself.
Dan Cheek: WHO ARE YOU?!?
Dan Cheek: My name is Dan and I’m the author of the upcoming self-published novel The Sock Puppets From Hell. It’s a pretty fucked up story about four Sock Puppets who escape from Hell and move in with a guy named Sam. Things go bad very quickly for everyone involved.
Dan Cheek: Fascinating. If you had to assign this literary masterwork to a specific genre of fiction, what would that be?
Dan Cheek: Uh. It’s kind of like a dark-comedy/horror/fantasy/sci-fi/thriller genre. Is that even a thing?
Dan Cheek: (checking Amazon) No. You just spouted off like five of the most general genres in existence. You’re a fucking idiot.
Dan Cheek: Okay.
Dan Cheek: When will The Sock Puppets From Hell be released to the masses?
Dan Cheek: I’m still working on finalizing an exact release date, but it’s looking like Halloween, October 31st, is gonna be when it hits.
Dan Cheek: What were some of your inspirations while you were writing the book?
Dan Cheek: Mostly beer. And scotch. ALF. The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie. Maya Angelou. Scat porn. And Nickelback.
Dan Cheek: How many pages is the book?
Dan Cheek: Mind your own fucking business, nosey!
Dan Cheek: Should children under the age of 18 years old be allowed to read this book?
Dan Cheek: Yes. In fact, parents of small children should read it to them in its entirety every day. And then make them recite it back like scripture. And then beat them if they fuck up.
Dan Cheek: You already mentioned the four Sock Puppets and Sam. Who are some other characters that will be in the book?
Dan Cheek: A witch named Vicki. A demon named Jeff. Julius, who is a sheep. Bernie, who’s kind of like a homicidal crazy person/agent of Satan. And a few other witches and demons.
Dan Cheek: How many copies of The Sock Puppets From Hell are you expecting to sell?
Dan Cheek: I spent over a year of my life writing it and suffered some pretty severe mental breakdowns along the way, so if I can maybe sell like nine copies I’d say that would pretty make it all worth it.
Dan Cheek: Has anyone aside from you read the book yet?
Dan Cheek: Nope. And I actually haven’t read it, yet. I mean I started to read it, but then some shit came up and I just haven’t gotten around to picking it back up. I actually think I may have lost it.
Dan Cheek: You lost your un-published first book?
Dan Cheek: Maybe. I really haven’t looked hard.
Dan Cheek: Is there anything else you want people to know about The Sock Puppets From Hell?
Dan Cheek: Just that if they find it, let me know so I can finish reading it. And so I can publish it and shit.
For all of the latest updates on The Sock Puppets From Hell, be sure to stay tuned to this website. And if you are a real blogger or journalist and want to interview Dan Cheek for your website or publication, send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and ask. He’ll probably do it.
Leave your hurtful and probably stupid and misspelled thoughts in the little comments box below so that I can completely ignore them.