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Meet the Sock Puppets From Hell Characters

Not in real life, stupid.  I mean like you can read about them and shit.

Sock Puppets From Hell - Meet the Characters

Hi, there.  It’s been several days since my last blog post so I thought I’d take a break from drinking scotch and peeing on things and give an update on what I’ve been doing with myself.  Besides drinking scotch and peeing on things.

I’ve built a “Characters” section here on the website.  This is meant to serve as guide to the various personalities that comprise the Sock Puppets From Hell saga.  If you aren’t yet familiar with these characters, this gives you the opportunity to learn about them without having to buy my book.

But to be clear, you still need to buy my book.  Don’t think this gets you out of that obligation, motherfucker.

You’ll notice that I’ve broken down all the characters into four main categories; The Sock Puppets, Humans, Demons and The Sheep.  At this point, most of my literate audience has probably left and deleted this website from their browsing history.

Anyway, I’m also in the process of adding some original sketch art (drawn by me, usually while I’m drunk and in between PEE ON EVERYTHING adventures) for each of the characters.  In this way, I can also manage to offend my remaining non-literate audience, forcing them to abandon this website as fast as their BACK buttons will take them.  I am alone.

And for the NONE OF YOU who are still reading this blog post, you should now direct your attention to the Characters Page and begin reading all about all of the interesting and morally offensive stars of The Sock Puppets From Hell novel.

Also, because I have ZERO DOLLARS set aside for sales and marketing purposes, please share this website and every goddamn blog post and page across all of your Facebooks and Twitters and SnapChats.  Or wherever else you people hang out.

Alright.  Fuck this, back to scotch and pissing on things that don’t belong to me but should.

TOODLES!

PS
BUY MY FUCKING BOOK, FUCKERS!

When Will the “Sock Puppets From Hell” Be Released?

Exactly when the holy fuck is this stupid book coming out, anyway?

Sock Puppets From Hell - Release Date

So up until now, I’ve been saying that The Sock Puppets From Hell would be released sometime in the Fall of 2016.  And that remains my official answer to the question of when the book will be available for all of you poor souls to buy it and contribute to my beer and comic book vices.

That being said, I am frantically finishing all the stuff I need to finish in order to achieve a release date of October 31, 2016.  This isn’t yet an official release date, just a personal goal of mine.

Within the next week or two, I should be able to officially announce Halloween as the release date for The Sock Puppets From Hell.  Or, alternatively, I could still be shrugging my shoulders and saying, “Eh.  Sometime in Fall of this year.  Probably.”

But having my book released on Halloween would be really fucking cool, right?

In a slightly unrelated note, I realize that this website currently has more pictures of my stupid ass than it does of the any of the Sock Puppets From Hell.  I’m putting the finishing touches on a bunch of Sock Puppet artwork and photos and those will be plastered all over this space soon.

Oh, and I’m still making tweaks to the final draft of the book, too.

For anyone that’s wondering, writing a novel and then self-publishing it is kind of a pain in the ass.  It takes up all your free time and you sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with overwhelming urge to kill.  Try it!  It’s fun!

Anyway, maybe The Sock Puppets From Hell will be released on Halloween.  Or maybe it won’t.  LEAVE ME ALONE I NEED WHISKEY!

PS
Please subscribe to my Sock Puppet Newsletter.  And follow on Facebook.  And Twitter.  AND BRING ME FUCKING WHISKEY, GODDAMNIT!

What the Hell are the Sock Puppets From Hell?

Seriously.  WTF?

WTF

I should probably start off by saying that The Sock Puppets From Hell are not a band.  Because that would be a really fucking great name for a band.

The Sock Puppets From Hell is an upcoming novel by Dan Cheek that chronicles the misadventures of four Sock Puppets.  Who are from Hell.  But who are now on Earth, living in a house with a guy named Sam.  Bad things happen to everyone involved.

These Sock Puppets each have names; Bob, Doctor Sanity, Lost Cause and Goblin.  Each of them are terrible, but in different ways.  And collectively, oh man, they are really terrible.

So these four Sock Puppets live with Sam, a guy who’s life isn’t super great before the Puppets invade his home.  And after the Sock Puppets start living with Sam, his life gets blown to shit.

Literally.  I wrote a scene in the book that involves human fecal matter being blown up.

Anyway, there’s a reason the Sock Puppets From Hell are living with Sam.  There’s a reason they left Hell.  There’s also a demon, a couple of witches and mentally deranged murderer.  And a sheep.  But I don’t wanna get into all of that just yet.

If any or all of this sounds at least a little bit interesting to you, I would recommend you buy a copy of The Sock Puppets From Hell when I self-publish it this Fall.  And if none of this sounds interesting, well, you should also buy a copy of the book.

Just all of you buy my fucking book because I just spent a fucking year writing a novel about Sock Puppets and oh god my life is a mess.  BUY MY SOCK PUPPET BOOK!

For all the latest information and updates on Sam, Bob, Lost Cause, Goblin and Doctor Sanity, stay tuned to this website.

Questions?  Comments?  Use the little white box below to write your words and I’ll read them and respond.  Maybe.

I’m Writing a Book About Sock Puppets

This is probably another bad life decision.

Sock Puppets From Hell - Bad Idea

My name is Dan Cheek and I am the author of The Sock Puppets From Hell.  This is a novel that will be self-published this Fall.  It’s the first book that I’ve ever written and if I sell twelve copies, I’ll be impressed.

Because it’s a book about Sock Puppets.

And demons.  A few witches.  A serial killer.  And an evil sheep.

So, like I said, I really don’t see a massive demand for a novel about such things.  But I’m going to publish it anyway.  This is a story that has been fermenting in my brain for over a decade at this point.  I’ve already terrorized my friends with these characters and now I want to inflict that upon the rest of you.

My plan is to use this blog to give you regular updates regarding The Sock Puppets From Hell.  I am told that this is a very clever marketing strategy and that it will increase the chances of me becoming an Internet celebrity.  Or be put on some sort of government watch list.

I should also take a moment to point out that I’ve set up some Sock Puppets From Hell social media accounts.  You can follow on Twitter and like on Facebook.  Please do this or I will be forced to dress up like a clown, sneak into your home and tickle your feet while you sleep.

In conclusion, I’m a sad, creepy man who is writing a book titled The Sock Puppets From Hell and none of you will read it, let alone buy it.  Unless you are as broken as a human being as me.  In which case, there’s a good chance you might actually need this novel in your life.

There’s no official release date for The Sock Puppets From Hell just yet (other than sometime in Fall of 2016), but as soon as I have one, I’ll be sure to share it.

BUY MY BOOK PLEASE!