Because reading obscure Sock Puppet facts makes you cool! And sad…
How well do you know the Sock Puppets From Hell? Probably not as well as I do! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *looks around the room for someone to high-five and then remembers he is alone in a dark room that smells like pee and Doritos*
To help make you a better person, I’ve compiled a list of five things that you maybe didn’t know about the Sock Puppets From Hell. Use these fascinating facts to impress your family and make them love you again.
Because they hate you. You knew that, yes?
- The Sock Puppets From Hell were created in South Korea. While serving in the US Army, I was stationed at Camp Casey, South Korea and lived in a barracks with an insane roommate named Miguel. After a few months, a combination of severe depression and alcoholism led me to make four Sock Puppets; Bob, Lost Cause, Doctor Sanity and Goblin. The Puppets lived in our room and sort of became our friends because we really were that drunk and lonely and unhinged.
- The first Sock Puppets From Hell thing that I wrote was actually a movie script. When I got home from Korea, I had trouble adapting to being a civilian and not spending my days training to kill or invade foreign countries. So I wrote a script for a movie about the Sock Puppets. And while the script was totally different from the book, a few elements did carry over.
- Doctor Sanity, the mad scientist Sock Puppet, actually has no physical brain. Instead, his head is filled with electricity and strange dark matter. This is the source of his horrifying genius. If you read the book, you know that. Unless I forgot to write that part in. Which now that I think about it, maybe I did. Damnit.
- If you search around the Internet long enough, you might find some old videos that I made with my friends (Rob, Rob, Cory and George) many years ago. At one point, we had grand plans of turning my Sock Puppets From Hell script into a homemade movie, so we made a bunch of trailers for it and then got so drunk that we forgot to actually make the movie. DAMNIT!
- In my mind, Lost Cause has the same voice as Corey Feldman.
So that’s it. You are now a smarter than you were before you read all of that and probably also more sexually attractive. And maybe you smell nicer.
And also BUY MY BOOK!
All for now.